04 Dec Slow Time Down
I have a secret- I can slow down time during times of stress and turmoil but most importantly during moments of great love and light. I control the moment to fit my need. I don’t just take a mental photograph. I hold that moment for an infinite amount of time until it exists permanently, etched in my heart, engrained in my mind for a lifetime. That moment resonates long after it has passed, reminding me of why I am here, why we are all here.
The holidays bring with them an onslaught of light and joy, over-stimulation of the senses; it is no wonder that people suffer from more deaths and depression than any other time of year. During the darkest time of the year when most animals are hibernating, nestled in their warm burrows, resting up for the Spring, we as a species are running around at a frenetic pace, determined to get everything done and join in as many festivities as we can possibly cram into a weekend, all with forced smiles on our faces.
Naturally, this isn’t what we want to be doing, but what we think we ought to be doing. And right at the culmination of one year and the start of another we “resolve to find balance in our lives.”
“The more you practice mindfulness the more it will become your existence and no longer a practice.”
It’s no wonder we are depressed: We don’t have balanced lives, human connections are withering away, family and friendships fraying, and then there’s the climate! But stop. Just stop. Now breathe in this moment. If you know me I am not a doom and gloom person. I’m the glass is half full, what is the silver lining in this lesson, a Buddy the Elf meets Nanny McPhee personality.
The secret to slowing down time is available to us all. It is a superpower that you can harness. The next time there is sorrow so deep that you cannot stand the pain that lies within, breathe into that space, allow your heart to expand, your muscles to relax, and release into your breath. Time will slow down and allow you to heal. It will not be easy at first. Your instinct to “fight or flight” will kick in. Breathe into that as well. The more you practice “mindfulness” the more it will become your existence and no longer a practice.
When you are with your aging parent who has asked you the same question three times within five minutes- breathe, notice their hands, the light that shines through the windows, the tenderness of their voice, the smell of their favorite sweater, and the handkerchief used to wipe their brow. Slow down time.
When you are watching your children help decorate the Christmas tree, breathe, and take it all in. Do they choose their favorite ornament to hang up first or save it for last? Take note of the excitement in their voices as they get the house ready for Santa Claus, the genuine concern they have for people who might not have gifts during the holidays, the smell of the Elmer’s glue as they hand you their gift made at school, and the light of the room. Slow down time.
“The next time there is sorrow so deep that you cannot stand the pain that lies within, breathe into that space…”
When you are watching your twin sons, dressed in suits, carrying corsages to two young ladies who they will be escorting to their first dance- notice the holiday lights as the boys walk up to the front porch, the smiles and laughter of teenagers, the kindness of a family to host a “grown up meal” for the teenagers before they head off to the dance, the smell of their cologne, the gentleness of their kiss as they leave for the evening, the knot in your throat, and the heartbeat of your partner as he holds you tight until your boys- young men are out of sight. Slow down time.
-Samita Syed-Needelman
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