Family Tag

Belief, Family, Growing Up, Love, Mindfulness / 27.07.2021

My husband’s reflection, soft and nurturing, guided one of our sons in the process of tying a tie. “Will it be a full Windsor or half-Windsor knot?” crooned Damon. Of course, he knew how to jazz up ties. This guy, who as a child was given the task of folding napkins into pieces of art for Cousins Bunny and Hal’s Passover Seder. This guy, who learned what Bunny explained, a fairly simple yet elegant fold, and taught himself dozens of others from a Bird of Paradise to geometric patterns of napkin pageantry, which parlayed perfectly into an Origami hobby because…why...

2 Likes
Belief, Family, Self Love, Women / 23.09.2019

One of the most joyous days of my life, our daughter’s bat mitzvah, concluded with family and friends helping us to our home from the reception hall: carrying in presents and trays of leftovers, making room for the centerpieces that were still to be gifted to Sissy’s friends, and a relative calling me fat. For upwards of 18 months, plans were underway. Honestly, right after our boys’ b’nai mitzvah, three years earlier, the preparations had begun. Mom and Dad, my in-laws, were gracious enough to store the boys’ centerpieces: a glitter-fest, feather-filled, Cirque du Soleil romp of color and splash. Our...

1 Like
Family, Growing Up, Self Love / 18.04.2019

This college entrance scandal has been weighing heavy on my heart and soul; even though I have not committed any fraud or criminal act, how complicit have I been in being part of a society and culture that values success, sometimes no matter the cost. As parents we want the best for our children: a better life; the best of health; access to the best education; and may I add failure. Yes, failure: the act of not succeeding at something, possibly coming in second or not getting on the scoreboard at all. Honestly, our family knows little to nothing about sports....

1 Like
Belief, Family, Women / 04.03.2019

I’ve always been impressed with people that can accomplish two tasks at once. For example: walk their dog and read the morning paper; push their child in a stroller and look at their phone; reply to emails while on a conference call; or have a conversation and be in their own minds ready to reply as soon as opportunity arises. If you can do more than one thing at a time, and do them well, you are the bee’s knees. At this moment, as much as I want to Google whether bees actually have knees, I am typing in a...

2 Likes
Family, Love, Self Love, Women / 02.01.2019

I wonder what saves a partnership from demise? Is it the baby that a couple thinks will remind them of why they got together in the first place? Is it therapy: that elusive relationship with a total stranger – if done well – you pour heart and soul into only to receive nods and no specific direction as to what choice to make, except to go further inward? Or is it New Orleans? In the case of my marriage, if you guessed a combination of therapy and NOLA you’re correct. Almost two years ago, Damon and I decided that it was...

2 Likes
Belief, Love, Religion / 01.11.2018

I remember the day I could string together letters, making the sounds of each character, and read. I remember pumping my scrawny, brown legs faster and faster and faster until I swung high into the air, flying all the way up to the sky, on a swing. I remember falling off a bike countless times, until the moment where my body balanced, and I pedaled up and down the block. And I also remember the moment where Daadi, my beloved grandmother – compassionate, strong, wise, all-knowing – tried to teach me her anti-Semitic ways. I think Mr. Hinkleman was Jewish; I...

2 Likes
Growing Up, Immigrant, Self Love, Women / 26.04.2018

Having moved from Bellwood, Illinois to Rialto, a suburb in Southern California, most people would be elated: sunshine almost all year round, palm trees, and a mere one hour drive to some of the most famous places in our country. But at the age of 12, having left what I knew of home behind – including Tanessa, my childhood best friend – I was devastated and like most soon-to-be teenagers spent my days in an emotional abyss because “no one understands me, no one has ever gone through what I am” and a general woe-is-me attitude. One day to Umme’s delight,...

2 Likes
Family, Growing Up, Women / 19.04.2018

Daadi was cooking again. After the last school bell rang and I began to walk home, the air became infused with garlic, ginger, cardamom, cloves, red chili, and the new immigrant stink which penetrated everything within a one block radius of our house. Head hanging down, desperately hoping that no one – especially a friend – would ask, “Where’s that smell coming from?” I quickly walked towards the epicenter of the odor. “Salaam,” I called out to no one in particular and yet everyone upon entering the home. “Samita, ya low [take this],” Daadi presented me with a spoonful of whatever she...

2 Likes
Family, Humanity, Love / 12.04.2018

Fairly early last Sunday night, before heading off to bed, I had requested Damon be on the look out for a tired, crampy, menstruating Samita huddled in a cocoon-like shape in bed in the morning. “If I’m still in bed at 6:45, could you be so kind and take the boys to school?” I asked, knowing that on the rare occasion I’m asking for assistance, Damon will say yes. It’s always polite to ask even after (especially after) almost a quarter century into a relationship. “No problem,” Damon replied. “You rest.” The house phone was ringing and ringing and ringing. Leia answered. My...

2 Likes
Domestic Violence, Growing Up, Women / 15.02.2018

Damon and I give our children what I call “sandwich hugs”, holding them in-between our bodies while our arms encircle them resting upon one another’s shoulders or elbows locked in embrace. At one time, when our kids were smaller we could squeeze them warmly and tightly, their bodies suspended in mid-air, legs dangling off the ground, as the giggles cascaded off the walls. Being sandwiched between parents – as we do – is warm and comforting. The sandwich my parents created was far from inviting or nurturing.   "The darkness concealed the stress of being an immigrant, a foreigner who barely was...

3 Likes